This preposterous and largely unnecessary tube of guts, is a Chaminny. Despite being virtually blind, the Chaminny has an eye-to-head ratio larger than any other animal, and it can independently move these eyes 360 degrees in every direction, which is impossible.
The Chaminny feeds by producing tears which smell like rancid offal in a nappy full of battery acid; a smell which draws fat wormy pests out of the earth. It then pecks sloppily at them, scraping out the yellow gop inside.
Living for up to eleven winters, the Chaminny very slowly grows a coat of beautiful golden feathers, one feather at a time. Toward the end of its life, when its coat is complete, it attempts to take flight, for one final glorious flourish. What with having no wings, and only two superfluous flippers to flap with, it fails to achieve take off, and merely slumps out of its nest into an ungainly heap. Here it stays, to live out its final hours being picked apart by the very weevils it once fed upon.
It's gigantic eyeballs, when dried and powdered, can form the basis of a delicious table sauce.
