A repulsive and widely despised creature, the Pond Dwelling Chuddem bears a striking resemblance to your mum.
As the name suggests, the Chuddem lives in stinking, bug infested ponds full of weeds and rotting dead things.
For some reason, nature has conspired to give this animal teeth so big and cumbersome it cannot open or close its mouth properly, and its teeth become cracked and splintered from constant grinding. You may think that this would make eating problematic. However, the Chuddem feeds somewhat differently to other animals - it feeds through the other end.
The Chuddem keeps its impressively smooth posterior submerged in the eggy brown water, using it to suck up disgusting little grubs into its rudimentary bowels.
It then mashes them with its internal knuckles before defecating by dunking its face into the water and wretching like a broken cat.
It is thought that the Chuddem is in danger of extinction, and, quite rightly, nobody cares.
